When I started this painting I didn’t know what I was doing at all, no sketching, no idea, no argument, nothing! I didn’t know that I was going to reveal my inner self this way. I just put the canvas on my easel and I started to look for a nude photo for a reference. I found this black and white photo for a nude male that got my attention, I took it as a starting point.
On the canvas things changed, I found myself giving him my curly hair and his body lost his sexual identity. When I came to his eyes, an ancient Egyptian kajal was there. His body became a mixture of details. The painting became so similar to me even if it didn’t look like me. We are like diamonds, different facets and different personalities. We’re the male and female combined together, sometimes the male takes over the female and sometimes the opposite. You can have both aspects in the same moment. Life sometimes you puts you in front of difficulties and your really colour has to be revealed.
Then I painted white curtains on the rights side, still no idea what I was doing and a figure started to show through the smoke. I grabbed the curtains to hide this whispering face as if I wanted to shut up the people’s voices, to shut up their mouthes. I am not sure though if the whispers were only of the people or it was my inner voice…Sometimes your inner self gives you hard times and you only want it to shut up.
The curious fact that my friends when they see this painting, they comment: It’s a self portrait, right? I always answer: Inner self portrait. She Him and Me.
